I grew up in a household where my mother and us kids were responsible for all household chores. Cleaning. Cooking. Bills. Decorating. Either mom took care of us kids or we took care of ourselves. Dad was always involved in our lives but he was in charge of the farm outside and would spend a large part of the day and night out there.
For some reason even though this was the life style I grew up with, I for some reason have the expectations that things would be different for me. That I would have a husband that would help wash dishes, do laundry, clean the rooms, haul the garbage. Instead I get the husband that will sleep in till 4pm on a saturday and will only get up to do something if it involves his daughter. And he will only do it if I have everything ready for him. Or better yet, he'll watch her if I can lay her in bed next to him so he can continue to sleep. I got 4 messages/calls when I went out shopping for 3 hours today.
I came home and cleaned the whole house while he went back to bed for some more sleep. He claims its because he doesn't feel good. He hasn't felt good in 3 years. He got up and was upset that I wasn't happy with him. Didn't know there was something I should be happy for.
I'm not treated like a wife. I don't get loved like a wife. There is no hugs, no kisses. Nothing.
Yet I'm not suppose to be upset. I'm not suppose to get frustrated.
We lost our day care this week. I have exactly two weeks to find more. I asked him a question on his opinion of who I should get. I guess I shouldn't have even asked.
I guess I will go do what I do most Saturday nights since my daughter was born. I will go cook dinner, finish the laundry, put Tayla down, then go to bed. Alone. Like always. Maybe he will come to bed before 5 Am. I guess that would be considered a good night.
yippy.
NIGHTS IN THE NURSERY: An OB/Nursery Nurse does her best thinking at night in the nursery...
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Tis the season for a.... blizzard?
Its been over a month since I've written and I've missed the blog. My computer completely crashed so I was not able to write. Today I now have a functioning computer and we are completely snowed in for the day. The whole southern Wisconsin is that is. 15 inches of snow and 50 mile an hour winds. Fun right? I'm loving the fire place on and the Christmas cookies. I'm hating the fact that my power goes out every 5 min so I'm going to type fast.
So what's all happened in the last month? Lets see... Thanksgiving did. We celebrated with all sides of our family and kept ourselves moving. I did have to work that night but hey, no biggy. All was quiet at the Birthing Center. Tayla wore her cute sweater and filled everyone's heart with smiles. We were a little under the weather due to constipation issues, but she smiled anyways.
(power outage number 1 while trying to write this post....)
(make that power outage number 2)
(poweroutage number 3, 4, and 5... this is getting ridiculous. Either on or off people!)
Tayla is just growing like a weed over the last few weeeks. We now eat regular food and needed her xmas present early... a new High Chair!
(Ok after attempts 6, 7, 8, and 9 I gave up writing for the day and postponed it a day!
This hat was one of those 'free deals' on Facebook. All I had to do was pay shipping. According to the website the lady charge $35 for this hat and all I had to pay was the $8 shipping!
O and we learned how to climb out of our bouncy seat now.... hehehe
We love bath time even more now that we can sit and play with toys and splash....
We can stand in the exerciser , which she loves to do most days....
Moving on to a serious note. Life is sure catching up with me now. I've been really busy with work things all the time. I'm on so many committees. And to add on top of that I'm going to get trained on teaching prenatal classes after the first of the year. My husband just had surgery this week. I'm happy that he is going to feel better soon but that also means that all house work and baby duties and well just about everything in general is now on my plate. I don't sleep anymore. I cry all the time. But I keep it to myself. I actually had to pull up the Edinbaugh Post Partum depression scale two days ago. They recommend seeking help after a score of 10. I was 14.
I don't know whats sadder. The fact that I scored a 14 or the fact that even though now I have proof I have a problem, I still don't have time to seek help because life is so crazy right now. I'm just hoping that with the blizzard that we had yesterday and being snowed in today again, that I can decompress and start fresh on Saturday. I'm probably going to turn to this blog more to get my feelings out. I need an outlet. No one in my personal life even knows this blog exists so I'm going to just write in here like a journal.
I'll take more pictures of all the snow today and post some tomorrow maybe. Just do me a favor if you do read this, and send a prayer up for me.
So what's all happened in the last month? Lets see... Thanksgiving did. We celebrated with all sides of our family and kept ourselves moving. I did have to work that night but hey, no biggy. All was quiet at the Birthing Center. Tayla wore her cute sweater and filled everyone's heart with smiles. We were a little under the weather due to constipation issues, but she smiled anyways.
(power outage number 1 while trying to write this post....)
(make that power outage number 2)
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| Isn't she just super cute in this sweater and smile? |
Tayla is just growing like a weed over the last few weeeks. We now eat regular food and needed her xmas present early... a new High Chair!
(Ok after attempts 6, 7, 8, and 9 I gave up writing for the day and postponed it a day!
We played around with her new christmas dress and took some cute pictures of her!
This hat was one of those 'free deals' on Facebook. All I had to do was pay shipping. According to the website the lady charge $35 for this hat and all I had to pay was the $8 shipping!
O and we learned how to climb out of our bouncy seat now.... hehehe
We love bath time even more now that we can sit and play with toys and splash....
We can stand in the exerciser , which she loves to do most days....
Moving on to a serious note. Life is sure catching up with me now. I've been really busy with work things all the time. I'm on so many committees. And to add on top of that I'm going to get trained on teaching prenatal classes after the first of the year. My husband just had surgery this week. I'm happy that he is going to feel better soon but that also means that all house work and baby duties and well just about everything in general is now on my plate. I don't sleep anymore. I cry all the time. But I keep it to myself. I actually had to pull up the Edinbaugh Post Partum depression scale two days ago. They recommend seeking help after a score of 10. I was 14.
I don't know whats sadder. The fact that I scored a 14 or the fact that even though now I have proof I have a problem, I still don't have time to seek help because life is so crazy right now. I'm just hoping that with the blizzard that we had yesterday and being snowed in today again, that I can decompress and start fresh on Saturday. I'm probably going to turn to this blog more to get my feelings out. I need an outlet. No one in my personal life even knows this blog exists so I'm going to just write in here like a journal.
I'll take more pictures of all the snow today and post some tomorrow maybe. Just do me a favor if you do read this, and send a prayer up for me.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Its beginning to look a lot like christmas!
So for that reason, my tree is up....
What a moment when Tayla got to experience her first Christmas tree moment...
Tayla is growing up so fast! She is definitely changing and looks nothing like when she was a newborn... Can't wait to see how much else she changes!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Frustration and Excitement spill over
It has been one roller coaster kind of week emotionally. Work itself was filled with ups and downs. They are trying to push me into a new shift that I do not like. Its more than not like, its straight out despising it! But time will tell whether or not I get the choice to switch or not. I am still enjoying assisting bringing new life into the world so I can still say I love my job.
With the highs and lows at work it brings me more and more excited for Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. I love Christmas decorations. I actually just asked my husband before he walked out the door if I could hang Christmas lights up. He rolled his eyes as usual and said "Do what you want". I don't think I'll really hang them up today, I should rest for I work tonight, but I make no promises about the rest of the week.... :)
With the highs and lows at work it brings me more and more excited for Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. I love Christmas decorations. I actually just asked my husband before he walked out the door if I could hang Christmas lights up. He rolled his eyes as usual and said "Do what you want". I don't think I'll really hang them up today, I should rest for I work tonight, but I make no promises about the rest of the week.... :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Tayla's 1st Road Trip!
This last weekend was an adventure to say the least. We left around noon on saturday and drove three hours to visit a cousin of ours. Then on sunday made another 1.5 hr trip to see an old college friend of mine, had lunch with her and her little on who is 6 weeks younger than Tayla. We then drove 2.5 hours to see my sister at college and then drove another 1.5 hours home. We were gone 27 hours and considering we were either driving, sleeping, or eating it was an adventure. Here's some of the highlights...
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| Auntie Becky teaching Tayla to 'chill' in the Hotel |
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| Tayla slept most the trip! |
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| We had to improvise the nightly bath time :) |
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| Long story but this is my sister Becky. |
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| Josiah and Tayla. He may be 6 weeks younger but he's about 4 lbs heavier |
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| Our first attempt at a photo of the two... LOL |
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| 2nd attempt, LOL |
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| Getting bundled to go see Leah's farm! |
Monday, October 29, 2012
Those emotional "mother" moments and challenges.
Over the last two weeks there have been numerous 'mom challenges' that I feel that I've had to overcome. Would I say I've handled everything right or made the right choices? No. Not at all. But today as I watched Tayla sleep I thought about these moments.
At Tayla's two month well check her pediatrician told me I could start giving her cereal and told me how to mix it. I listened intently and on my way home I thought about what he said. Everything I had read told me to wait till 4 months before starting solids. Her pediatrician was my pediatrician growing up and is one of my co workers that I work with everyday. So the dilemma- Do I follow what is in print EVERYWHERE in books and online or what he told me to do because I do fully trust him? I decided at that moment that clearly he had suggested I feed her the cereal for a reason. I spent two almost three weeks trying to get Tayla to take cereal once a day everyday. It was such a challenge. The stress of that meal was just nuts. I went back to my research. Is my little on skinnier then most babies- yes. But she isn't sickly looking. She still fits well into the curve of normal for weight (24percentile) and is extra long (92percentile) so why does she need the cereal already? I pondered this for a couple of days and then told my husband I was stopping the cereal and we would try again in a month or so. And the best part. I feel good about my choice. I'm not second guessing it every day. She'll eat it when she's ready.
Two weeks ago my husbands grandpa passed away exactly one week after being diagnosed with a terminal cancer. Emotionally we were a mess. The mom challenge that came into play was whether or not to take Tayla to the wake and/or funeral. It was his only great grandchild but she was only 11 weeks old. Is this a place for a baby? What would people say if we brought her? But at the same time its her great grandfather, he is her family, she deserves to be there. So we took her. Did she bust out into HUGE smiles and start cooing and laughing as we approached the casket. Was I embarressed that my daughter was laughing and smiling while everyone was crying. Yeah a little bit. But I know that Jerry would have been laughing right there with her if he had been there. And everyone that saw her smile busted out into one of their own, so yeah, I think it was the right choice.
Last week I noticed that Tayla had a swollen lymph node on her neck. I pointed it out to my husband and he FREAKED out. I explained everything I knew about it and told him she was probably just fine and fighting a bug. Over the weekend she started to show signs of early teething and was sooooooo cranky. My husband kept begging me to take her to the doctors. I kept insisting that she would survive and that they wouldn't do anything about it anyways so he needed to calm down. Yesterday and today she seems a little bit happier. Am I happy with my approach that I took- yes.
Do I think I'll handle every 'mom challenge' the Right way. No. Abosolutely not. But I'm starting to feel more confident in my Mom Choices. I hope I can continue to feel that confidence that what I am doing for my daughter is the best thing I can do.
Each day is about learning and growing. I hope to continue to grow with her...
At Tayla's two month well check her pediatrician told me I could start giving her cereal and told me how to mix it. I listened intently and on my way home I thought about what he said. Everything I had read told me to wait till 4 months before starting solids. Her pediatrician was my pediatrician growing up and is one of my co workers that I work with everyday. So the dilemma- Do I follow what is in print EVERYWHERE in books and online or what he told me to do because I do fully trust him? I decided at that moment that clearly he had suggested I feed her the cereal for a reason. I spent two almost three weeks trying to get Tayla to take cereal once a day everyday. It was such a challenge. The stress of that meal was just nuts. I went back to my research. Is my little on skinnier then most babies- yes. But she isn't sickly looking. She still fits well into the curve of normal for weight (24percentile) and is extra long (92percentile) so why does she need the cereal already? I pondered this for a couple of days and then told my husband I was stopping the cereal and we would try again in a month or so. And the best part. I feel good about my choice. I'm not second guessing it every day. She'll eat it when she's ready.
Two weeks ago my husbands grandpa passed away exactly one week after being diagnosed with a terminal cancer. Emotionally we were a mess. The mom challenge that came into play was whether or not to take Tayla to the wake and/or funeral. It was his only great grandchild but she was only 11 weeks old. Is this a place for a baby? What would people say if we brought her? But at the same time its her great grandfather, he is her family, she deserves to be there. So we took her. Did she bust out into HUGE smiles and start cooing and laughing as we approached the casket. Was I embarressed that my daughter was laughing and smiling while everyone was crying. Yeah a little bit. But I know that Jerry would have been laughing right there with her if he had been there. And everyone that saw her smile busted out into one of their own, so yeah, I think it was the right choice.
Last week I noticed that Tayla had a swollen lymph node on her neck. I pointed it out to my husband and he FREAKED out. I explained everything I knew about it and told him she was probably just fine and fighting a bug. Over the weekend she started to show signs of early teething and was sooooooo cranky. My husband kept begging me to take her to the doctors. I kept insisting that she would survive and that they wouldn't do anything about it anyways so he needed to calm down. Yesterday and today she seems a little bit happier. Am I happy with my approach that I took- yes.
Do I think I'll handle every 'mom challenge' the Right way. No. Abosolutely not. But I'm starting to feel more confident in my Mom Choices. I hope I can continue to feel that confidence that what I am doing for my daughter is the best thing I can do.
Each day is about learning and growing. I hope to continue to grow with her...
Saturday, October 27, 2012
3 months
We are getting more and more into our normal routine. Tayla is getting better about getting up for daycare. She started sleeping through the night more consistently now. She sleeps most nights 11-12 hours straight. Unless its a daycare day, somehow she knows it, and gets up early. (after 8 hours, I'm still not complaining). She rolled over for the first time at 12 weeks 1 day!! So proud of my baby girl!
She LOVES to talk and tell stories now. Its just LOUD cooing, but we call it stories.
Sporting her Wisconsin Badger wear....
And you gotta love our Zebra for Halloween!
How freakin' cute is this!!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
And life moves on...
Today marks day two back at work and daycare for Tayla. We finished the construction on the house last weekend. (what a freaking adventure. for reference... a half gallon of bright white paint dumped on a cream dining room carpet is NOT easy to get out. UGH). But I'm thankful to have my house back in order.
The first day of work went quite well, minus one MAJOR event. O you know, Joint Commission decided to make there every 4 year drop in, THE DAY I COME BACK. No big deal (thick thick thick sarcasm here.)
There is so much you need to know to pass inspection and I wasn't even getting successfully logged into my work programs since I had been gone so long. The minute the Joint Doctor arrived on the floor all nurses just scattered...it was quite amusing at that point. After he left it looked like we passed with flying colors so hoping that stays true.
Tayla woke up sick yesterday, I'm praying its a short term thing. We tried cereal again with her and this time had way more successes. Instead of crying hysterically she smiled so much the food kept falling out of her mouth. O well I'd rather have that then the screaming. I'm thinking the cereal before bed was a good choice since she slept 8 hours last night straight!!
The first day of work went quite well, minus one MAJOR event. O you know, Joint Commission decided to make there every 4 year drop in, THE DAY I COME BACK. No big deal (thick thick thick sarcasm here.)
There is so much you need to know to pass inspection and I wasn't even getting successfully logged into my work programs since I had been gone so long. The minute the Joint Doctor arrived on the floor all nurses just scattered...it was quite amusing at that point. After he left it looked like we passed with flying colors so hoping that stays true.
Tayla woke up sick yesterday, I'm praying its a short term thing. We tried cereal again with her and this time had way more successes. Instead of crying hysterically she smiled so much the food kept falling out of her mouth. O well I'd rather have that then the screaming. I'm thinking the cereal before bed was a good choice since she slept 8 hours last night straight!!
nummy nummies!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Smiles
So as mentioned in my previous post my daughter had her 2 month shots on Monday. I'm a nurse, I deal with babies, I get the consequences that come with these shots- fevers, cranky babies, no sleep, etc. But holy hell I wasn't expecting this last week.
Most kids have like a 1-2 day period post shots were they run a fever. Tayla had issues with her fever for 5 days!! She would be doing great on the Tylenol and then once it wore off she would spike back to over 102degrees. She was extra extra cranky by the fourth day. Not that I blame the kid. Very little sleep for the both of us was making us both really cranky.
Then we woke up yesterday morning to a couple of these:
A smile. Who knew that a simple smile could make a WHOLE week of crappiness so much better.
We also got some of her newborn photos back... I'll share them next week!
Most kids have like a 1-2 day period post shots were they run a fever. Tayla had issues with her fever for 5 days!! She would be doing great on the Tylenol and then once it wore off she would spike back to over 102degrees. She was extra extra cranky by the fourth day. Not that I blame the kid. Very little sleep for the both of us was making us both really cranky.
Then we woke up yesterday morning to a couple of these:
We also got some of her newborn photos back... I'll share them next week!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Its that time...
...That I go back to work.
Or at least that's the way I feel. I'm sure I'll feel the opposite on my first day back but seriously I need a break from this house. The contruction mess is getting to the best of me. Yesterday the crew DESTROYED my house. They were to replace a door and they took a saw to the frame without telling my husband. Not that we would've had a problem with it but since it was in our living room, all of our daughters toys, blankets, swing, and our computer center were COVERED in saw dust. I came back from Tayla's 2 month check up to find the house a destroyed mess and she wasn't feeling great due to the shots. I was so MAD!
We are making progress on the construction and should be done by the end of the week, but seriously I'm so over it.
And that play at the Packer game last night... NOT helping my mood today.
Or at least that's the way I feel. I'm sure I'll feel the opposite on my first day back but seriously I need a break from this house. The contruction mess is getting to the best of me. Yesterday the crew DESTROYED my house. They were to replace a door and they took a saw to the frame without telling my husband. Not that we would've had a problem with it but since it was in our living room, all of our daughters toys, blankets, swing, and our computer center were COVERED in saw dust. I came back from Tayla's 2 month check up to find the house a destroyed mess and she wasn't feeling great due to the shots. I was so MAD!
We are making progress on the construction and should be done by the end of the week, but seriously I'm so over it.
And that play at the Packer game last night... NOT helping my mood today.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Construction Overload
The biggest news of the week is the massive construction project going on at our house. We are replacing every window in the house and doing a complete renovation on the front porch. Its turning out to be awesome but in the mean time my house is so loud and obnoxious during the day.
My sweet daughter Tayla can sleep through anything though it seems. Speaking of sleep... guess who slept 8.5 hours last night?!?!? This momma is all sorts of excited about it.
Me and my husband celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Monday. Hard to believe how much can change in the course of one year. We didn't do anything major to celebrate. We had enjoyed a nice lunch out over the weekend and he brought me flowers on Monday but that was about it.
My sweet daughter Tayla can sleep through anything though it seems. Speaking of sleep... guess who slept 8.5 hours last night?!?!? This momma is all sorts of excited about it.
Me and my husband celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Monday. Hard to believe how much can change in the course of one year. We didn't do anything major to celebrate. We had enjoyed a nice lunch out over the weekend and he brought me flowers on Monday but that was about it.
Tayla is going to her daycare tomorrow morning for a trial run. I have a doctors appointment so I figured its as good as time as any. It makes me sooo nervous but yet excited. Its like her first day of school. But not really. These last 8 weeks have just flown by.
This weekend will bring on one of great shopping I'm anticipating. Large part will probably be at Menards for more Home Improvement projects but whatever. At least its shopping with the hubby. Maybe we can sneak in somewhere and get a Halloween Costume for Tayla!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
The first 6 weeks
Just getting home!!
We made it home on day 2 postpartum. Breastfeeding was proving to be such a challenge that I was emotionally a wreck. I was soooo engorged! I also was diagnosed with postpartum pre eclampsia before we left ( my 24 hr urine protein was over 1000!! EEk) so I was on strict BP monitoring and rest and if my Blood Pressure went up I was to be readmitted. I was trying so hard to follow the instructions. I was so emotional I think I cried 12 hours straight when I got home. It was a disaster. I ended up slowly getting through it and before I knew it the first week had passed. I ended up having to switch to a bottle but I know it was for the better for us. I physically and emotionally couldn't keep up anymore. She has grown up so fast!! Here is a glimpse of the weeks going by....
1 week
2 weeks
3 weeks
4 weeks
5 weeks
6 weeks!
We had professional 1 month photos done and I can't wait to see how those turned out! I've been waiting 2 weeks for them and my paitence is running out, LOL!
One of the neatest experiences we've had recently is this:
5 Generations!
We celebrated my Great Grandmas 99th birthday this last Sunday and I was able to cordinate a picture of all the generations. My family is so big we have to rent a whole park (thats right the whole park) just to hold her birthday party.
We got this awesome picture of Tayla and her Great Great Grandma. Its not often one can say that anymore...
Awww!
I have three more full weeks at home and the time sure is flying by. I'm going to have a hard time going back to work in the sense that I'll miss all my smiles from her, but in so many ways I'm really ready to get back to work. I've always been someone who worked crazy amount of hours and am really dedicated to my work so I'm going to be happy to get back at it.
Though I must say I haven't been 'NOT' working either. I am a nationally Certified Passenger Safety Tech so I've been busy working on my CEUs for recert on my Car Seat Safety items. Plus I've been studying for my Inpatient OB exam as well. I'm not sure when I'll take that exam but I'm hoping to learn a lot in the next few months and then give it a try!!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Reliving My Delivery
I've worked in Labor and Delivery/Postpartum Mom/baby care for over 2 years now. One thing I always thought about was 'is this what my labor will be like?', "what will my baby look like?", or "why would someone do that?" lol.
Now that I have experienced a pregnancy and a delivery I can look back and try to place myself in some category of women. I've been thinking a lot about my labor and delivery. The highs and lows.But honestly. The biggest thing I'm trying to remember is the things I can't.
I was at home when my labor started. It was right on my due date. As most Labor nurses would tell you, women rarely go into spontanous delivery on their due dates. Hence why I wasn't quite convinced I was in labor right away. I had a few random but slightly uncomfotable contractions in the morning. Nothing really unlike what I had been having for weeks. These felt more like period cramps more than anything. I've had many of mothers describe early contractions this way so I was hopeful for progress. I went for a long walk with the dog around 11 am hoping to kick things in. The contractions didn't change but I got tired and gave up and came home.
When I got home I informed my still sleeping husband that we should eat lunch and then I was going to nap in case I did go into labor that day. He asked if we wanted to go to the local bar for lunch ( a common practice on sat or sun lunches at our house). I told him no, I didn't want to go into labor at the bar. He opted to go get take out from there and bring it home. I ate around 1pm. I headed upstairs to try and rest while contractions came about a couple an hour.
I no more than laid down and they seemed to pick up. Within twenty minutes Travis came up to me and checked on me. I told him they were about 15 min apart. When we were talking they continued to pick up more. I think at this point they were 10-15 when he left. I was alone for about 10 min and the intensity seemed to triple. Being the good ole labor nurse I was now on a mission to prove this was real labor over false labor. I chugged a bottle of water (ruling out dehydration) and jumped in the shower (real contractions stay under the warm relaxation, fake ones normally go away). I kept checking my blood sugars and they seemed to be bottoming out. I hit as low as 44 at one point. Over 70 is important.
During the shower was when I realized this was probably the real thing. They were coming more and more consistantly by this point. I think this was around 330-400ish in the afternoon. Travis became on a mission to get things ready so he was packing the truck, double checking bags, etc. He kept suggesting I go in but I was determined to labor until I was truely uncomfortable at home. I knew I needed time for the insulin drip at the hospital but since my Blood sugars were so low they were not going to hook me up anyways, I might as well stay home. I let my Doula know what was going on but told her I didn't need her quite yet.
One thing looking back I was thankful for was the free Contraction Timer app on my android phone. It sure made things easier. My contractions were 2-5 min apart starting at 430. I was breathing easily through them. As we approached 500 Travis was begging me to go to the hospital "just to be checked over". I kept telling him "I see women labor all the time, I know I'm very early in labor. See I can still talk to you easily." He went out to smoke but took the baby monitor with him(so he could hear me through the contractions). I no more than got through 2 contractions and he was running back in. They were getting worse. And the worst part- I was getting SOOOOOO nauseated. This made me very nervous. During an average labor and delivery a women will commonly feel nauseated or throw up around 7 cm during transition. I freaked out that I was at home and potentially 7cm. So we packed up the rest and headed to the hospital at 530 that evening. I would say that at this point I've been in labor about 3 hours.
We arrived at 6pm to the hospital and to the unit I work on. It was interesting to 'go to work' to have a baby. LOL. One of my favorite co workers Amy was there and was going to be my nurse. She got me checked in and assessed and come to find out I was only 3-4cm. But the nausea was unbearable. I kept telling her I was going to throw up. Three contractions at the hospital and I did just that. Threw up all that good lunch I had. Ugh. She hurriedly got my IV in place and was giving me Phenergan to aleviate the nausea and vomiting. If anyone knows anything about Phenergan its that it can make you very 'loopy' and "sleepy'.
This is where is gets tough and makes me sad. I was so affected by the medications that I do not remember much. It didn't help that it happened so fast but I'm still putting the pieces together. My doula showed up minutes after I was given the medication. They were trying to place the second IV line (I need two cause of my insulin drip) and they were struggling with it. I remember the contractions getting strong at this point. I remember laying down on my left side and sleeping in between the contractions and screaming when they came. I remember the Pencillin for my GBS stinging like crazy in my right hand IV. I remember all of a sudden feeling pressure and her checking me and telling me that I was 6-7 cm but I was screaming that I was having a contraction so she decided to wait until that one was over to double check. Turns out now I'm 8 cm. She ran out of the room to call the doctor. At this point its only been about 40 min and I've gone from 3-4cm to 8cm. Way faster than your normal first time mom. Amy came back in the room and started setting up for the delivery. All of a sudden I screamed I had to push and was bearing down lightly. She checked me and I was complete. She ran from the room to go get the doctor. Luckily the doctor had come to the hospital because another patient was nearing completion so she was there. She came back with Amy my nurse.
I remember the Doctor asking if my water had broke and them deciding they were going to break it. I remember thinking that there was no reason for that (not sure why) and gave it a hard push and felt it break just as the Doctor was gloving up to break it. I remember my doula saying 'o-nevermind-its broke.' I then started the real pushing. What I remember most about this was the two voices in my head. Seriously. I was too weak, thanks to the Phenergan, to put my own legs up so I had my Husband and my Doula doing that for me. But what was weird was the fact that I would do things like arch my back while pushing. One voice in my head would say "you idiot you know thats not how you are suppose to push, that narrows your pelvis!!" and another voice that would say "I don't care I want to push this way". It was messed up let me tell ya.The second thing I remember most about pushing was the constant conversation about how much hair my baby had. My Husband was desperately telling me I should use the mirror to see all the hair. I kept informing him the hair would be there when it came out and I did not need to see it now. LOL.
After only 20 min of pushing(very little for a first timer) we had a baby girl. When she came out I remember having the hardest time keeping my eyes open and on her. My bottom hurt so bad. I had tore and that was causing discomfort. As much as I wanted to continue skin to skin I was too sleepy and in too much pain to hold on to her so I told my husband to go with the baby nurse and get her measured and cleaned up and stuff.
At this point Amy and my doctor realize how bad I'm bleeding. From here I forgot so much. I remember constant conversation about my bleeding. I remember Amy giving me fundal massage (rubbing the uterus-VERY uncomfortable) a lot to get it to stop. I remember hearing the discussion of what medications to use to get the bleeding to stop. This took place over an hour and it feels like just minutes to me. I was so in and out of it thanks to the medications and the blood loss. I don't even remember them talking about my blood pressure being high or having the phlebotomists come in to draw more blood. At the two hour post delivery I remember it was time for me to get in the shower and I commented on how I was bummed how I hadn't gotten to breast feed yet. But I was so out of it I couldn't do it. So my baby nurse held the baby while the doula held my boob and they tried to feed her. It was weird but totally made me feel better. I then tried to get into the shower but was unable to hardly function so my doula washed my hair for me and then helped clean me up.
I don't remember going back to bed. I know at some point before my shower we called our parents but I don't remember the conversation. All of a sudden it was 11pm and I felt like I had just woken up from sleeping all night. It was like all the fog was lifted and I could function normally again. I kept trying to remember the last couple hours and couldn't so the nurses where trying to fill me in with the help of Travis.
Looking back at my labor experience- I'm excited to say I did it all natural- no pain meds other than the nausea medication. I'm happy to say it was quick and overall easy. But it makes me so so so sad that I felt those three hours were wasted with me not having any memory. I didn't even focus on my daughter till 11pm! I didn't like that feeling. Next time- I don't care what hospital order sets say. I'm going with the Zofran instead of the Phenergan!!!
And after spending 3 months instituting an insulin drip policy so that I would be able to deliver at my own hospital I never even needed the drip!! LOVE IT!!
And thats all I can remember from that day. More to come on my postpartum days 1 and 2 later.
Now that I have experienced a pregnancy and a delivery I can look back and try to place myself in some category of women. I've been thinking a lot about my labor and delivery. The highs and lows.But honestly. The biggest thing I'm trying to remember is the things I can't.
I was at home when my labor started. It was right on my due date. As most Labor nurses would tell you, women rarely go into spontanous delivery on their due dates. Hence why I wasn't quite convinced I was in labor right away. I had a few random but slightly uncomfotable contractions in the morning. Nothing really unlike what I had been having for weeks. These felt more like period cramps more than anything. I've had many of mothers describe early contractions this way so I was hopeful for progress. I went for a long walk with the dog around 11 am hoping to kick things in. The contractions didn't change but I got tired and gave up and came home.
When I got home I informed my still sleeping husband that we should eat lunch and then I was going to nap in case I did go into labor that day. He asked if we wanted to go to the local bar for lunch ( a common practice on sat or sun lunches at our house). I told him no, I didn't want to go into labor at the bar. He opted to go get take out from there and bring it home. I ate around 1pm. I headed upstairs to try and rest while contractions came about a couple an hour.
I no more than laid down and they seemed to pick up. Within twenty minutes Travis came up to me and checked on me. I told him they were about 15 min apart. When we were talking they continued to pick up more. I think at this point they were 10-15 when he left. I was alone for about 10 min and the intensity seemed to triple. Being the good ole labor nurse I was now on a mission to prove this was real labor over false labor. I chugged a bottle of water (ruling out dehydration) and jumped in the shower (real contractions stay under the warm relaxation, fake ones normally go away). I kept checking my blood sugars and they seemed to be bottoming out. I hit as low as 44 at one point. Over 70 is important.
During the shower was when I realized this was probably the real thing. They were coming more and more consistantly by this point. I think this was around 330-400ish in the afternoon. Travis became on a mission to get things ready so he was packing the truck, double checking bags, etc. He kept suggesting I go in but I was determined to labor until I was truely uncomfortable at home. I knew I needed time for the insulin drip at the hospital but since my Blood sugars were so low they were not going to hook me up anyways, I might as well stay home. I let my Doula know what was going on but told her I didn't need her quite yet.
One thing looking back I was thankful for was the free Contraction Timer app on my android phone. It sure made things easier. My contractions were 2-5 min apart starting at 430. I was breathing easily through them. As we approached 500 Travis was begging me to go to the hospital "just to be checked over". I kept telling him "I see women labor all the time, I know I'm very early in labor. See I can still talk to you easily." He went out to smoke but took the baby monitor with him(so he could hear me through the contractions). I no more than got through 2 contractions and he was running back in. They were getting worse. And the worst part- I was getting SOOOOOO nauseated. This made me very nervous. During an average labor and delivery a women will commonly feel nauseated or throw up around 7 cm during transition. I freaked out that I was at home and potentially 7cm. So we packed up the rest and headed to the hospital at 530 that evening. I would say that at this point I've been in labor about 3 hours.
We arrived at 6pm to the hospital and to the unit I work on. It was interesting to 'go to work' to have a baby. LOL. One of my favorite co workers Amy was there and was going to be my nurse. She got me checked in and assessed and come to find out I was only 3-4cm. But the nausea was unbearable. I kept telling her I was going to throw up. Three contractions at the hospital and I did just that. Threw up all that good lunch I had. Ugh. She hurriedly got my IV in place and was giving me Phenergan to aleviate the nausea and vomiting. If anyone knows anything about Phenergan its that it can make you very 'loopy' and "sleepy'.
This is where is gets tough and makes me sad. I was so affected by the medications that I do not remember much. It didn't help that it happened so fast but I'm still putting the pieces together. My doula showed up minutes after I was given the medication. They were trying to place the second IV line (I need two cause of my insulin drip) and they were struggling with it. I remember the contractions getting strong at this point. I remember laying down on my left side and sleeping in between the contractions and screaming when they came. I remember the Pencillin for my GBS stinging like crazy in my right hand IV. I remember all of a sudden feeling pressure and her checking me and telling me that I was 6-7 cm but I was screaming that I was having a contraction so she decided to wait until that one was over to double check. Turns out now I'm 8 cm. She ran out of the room to call the doctor. At this point its only been about 40 min and I've gone from 3-4cm to 8cm. Way faster than your normal first time mom. Amy came back in the room and started setting up for the delivery. All of a sudden I screamed I had to push and was bearing down lightly. She checked me and I was complete. She ran from the room to go get the doctor. Luckily the doctor had come to the hospital because another patient was nearing completion so she was there. She came back with Amy my nurse.
I remember the Doctor asking if my water had broke and them deciding they were going to break it. I remember thinking that there was no reason for that (not sure why) and gave it a hard push and felt it break just as the Doctor was gloving up to break it. I remember my doula saying 'o-nevermind-its broke.' I then started the real pushing. What I remember most about this was the two voices in my head. Seriously. I was too weak, thanks to the Phenergan, to put my own legs up so I had my Husband and my Doula doing that for me. But what was weird was the fact that I would do things like arch my back while pushing. One voice in my head would say "you idiot you know thats not how you are suppose to push, that narrows your pelvis!!" and another voice that would say "I don't care I want to push this way". It was messed up let me tell ya.The second thing I remember most about pushing was the constant conversation about how much hair my baby had. My Husband was desperately telling me I should use the mirror to see all the hair. I kept informing him the hair would be there when it came out and I did not need to see it now. LOL.
After only 20 min of pushing(very little for a first timer) we had a baby girl. When she came out I remember having the hardest time keeping my eyes open and on her. My bottom hurt so bad. I had tore and that was causing discomfort. As much as I wanted to continue skin to skin I was too sleepy and in too much pain to hold on to her so I told my husband to go with the baby nurse and get her measured and cleaned up and stuff.
At this point Amy and my doctor realize how bad I'm bleeding. From here I forgot so much. I remember constant conversation about my bleeding. I remember Amy giving me fundal massage (rubbing the uterus-VERY uncomfortable) a lot to get it to stop. I remember hearing the discussion of what medications to use to get the bleeding to stop. This took place over an hour and it feels like just minutes to me. I was so in and out of it thanks to the medications and the blood loss. I don't even remember them talking about my blood pressure being high or having the phlebotomists come in to draw more blood. At the two hour post delivery I remember it was time for me to get in the shower and I commented on how I was bummed how I hadn't gotten to breast feed yet. But I was so out of it I couldn't do it. So my baby nurse held the baby while the doula held my boob and they tried to feed her. It was weird but totally made me feel better. I then tried to get into the shower but was unable to hardly function so my doula washed my hair for me and then helped clean me up.
I don't remember going back to bed. I know at some point before my shower we called our parents but I don't remember the conversation. All of a sudden it was 11pm and I felt like I had just woken up from sleeping all night. It was like all the fog was lifted and I could function normally again. I kept trying to remember the last couple hours and couldn't so the nurses where trying to fill me in with the help of Travis.
Looking back at my labor experience- I'm excited to say I did it all natural- no pain meds other than the nausea medication. I'm happy to say it was quick and overall easy. But it makes me so so so sad that I felt those three hours were wasted with me not having any memory. I didn't even focus on my daughter till 11pm! I didn't like that feeling. Next time- I don't care what hospital order sets say. I'm going with the Zofran instead of the Phenergan!!!
And after spending 3 months instituting an insulin drip policy so that I would be able to deliver at my own hospital I never even needed the drip!! LOVE IT!!
And thats all I can remember from that day. More to come on my postpartum days 1 and 2 later.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
A look back 6 months...
So you may have noticed I haven't written here is 6 months. Looking back I really wish I had continued writing, to put my feelings on paper (or computer).
My pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. Let me enlighten you with the highlights.
*I was very sick the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. I threw up all the time and my life revolved around when and where I would be able to throw up. I hated it. I lost about 13lbs in the first 16 weeks all because of being sick.
*I had chronic Hypertension (aka High blood pressure) before I was pregnant and was on medications to lower it. I had to switch medications for the pregnancy because the ones before where not prego safe. This meant I had to check my blood pressure daily and that was frustrating with it going up and down.
*I was just starting to feel like a normal pregnant women and gained some weight and was even able to go off of my Blood pressure meds thanks to the weight loss from throwing up and the naturally healthier diet you eat while prego. Then more drama- I was diagnosed Gestational Diabetic. Not just your 'follow this diet and check your sugars every once in awhile diabetic'. This was the 'check your sugars 4+ times daily and self administer insulin 5 times daily'. UGH! This had to be the hardest part of the pregnancy. I was put on the diet and it was so hard. Not because there wasn't much to eat, but if I ate what they told me my blood sugars were still so high I couldn't eat that. I ended up almost starving myself in order to keep my blood sugars down, but that meant I started dumping ketones in my urine (normally a good thing if your loosing weight on a diet but when your pregnant this is bad, the ketones start building up in the baby's brain. NOT COOL). I struggled so much and they kept increasing my insulin. Eventually they were stable until the end of the pregnancy when in the last two weeks my blood sugar would BOTTOM OUT instead of being too high and this led to further issues. UGH!
*Due to the Chronic Hypertension and the Gestational Diabetes I had to have growth scans to check on the size of the baby. ( for reference CH moms tend to have small babies, GD moms have large babies. They didn't know where my kid would be). One Ultrasound showed my baby measuring small in the abdomen. That made me all worried that something ELSE was wrong. UGH! Again UGH!
*Then my doctor left. I cried and cried and cried. Keep in mind I work side by side with all the doctors since I'm their labor and delivery nurse, so I really knew which one I wanted. She Michele was awesome and she totally knew what I wanted out of this pregnancy and was such a HUGE support through everything. Then she transferred jobs at the beginning of July and the doctor I had to switch too wanted nothing to do with me really. He was just mad I didn't start with him from the beginning. I missed Michele through those last couple of apts. But we kept in touch via email and she even called me directly at home to ease my fears regarding blood sugar issues.
*I worked up till the Friday before my due date. I was due Sunday. Sunday July 29th I went into labor naturally- right on my due date. Contractions started to be noticable around 2pm. We left to the hospital with regular contractions at 530pm, got to the hospital at 6pm, and baby was born at 735pm. Very fast. I was suppose to have an Insulin drip for my diabetes and antibiotics because I was GBS+ (another complication of the pregnancy I forgot to mention) but we got none of that since I was going so fast.
*After the birth of my DAUGHTER Tayla Carmen (!!we didn't know the sex so it was so fun!!) I proceeded to have a postpartum hemorrhage. Meaning I was bleeding and bleeding bad. They had to give me 4 different medications to get the bleeding to stop. On top of that, normally with a bleed your Blood pressure goes down, but mine was going up and up. I was starting to make the doctor nervous for a seizure so I got blood pressure meds too and was tested for PreEclampsia. I ended up testing positive for that the next day so I was stuck monitoring my Blood pressure again very frequently.
*I left the hospital an emotional wreck. I think the whole pregnancy was finally crashing down on me emotionally and I could not stop crying those first few days. I ended up with severe PseudoEngorgement and could not breast feed. This only added to my emotional wreckage. I was a basket case and it took me almost 2 weeks to get over it. I think if I had continued this blog I would have had an outlet to let my emotions go during the pregnancy, instead I just bottled them up, determined to do everything perfect for my baby.
But now- I'm at home with my 5 week old daughter. And this could not be any better. I ended up loosing a total of 30lbs from the start of my pregnancy to my 4 week postpartum wt check. Most of my preprego clothes don't fit and I must say, thats a nice problem to have :).
Tayla is for the large majority a very good baby. She doesn't cry often and its easy to figure out what she wants. We really need to work on this whole sleeping at night thing. Once I go back to my 12 hr shifts its going to be rough. If things don't change before then I"m going to get about 3-4 hours of sleep before working 12 hrs. NOT COOL I say. I'm hoping to be able to keep up with this blog a bit more. Share cute Tayla stories.
So to a new beginning- Here is my beautiful daughter...
My pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. Let me enlighten you with the highlights.
*I was very sick the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. I threw up all the time and my life revolved around when and where I would be able to throw up. I hated it. I lost about 13lbs in the first 16 weeks all because of being sick.
*I had chronic Hypertension (aka High blood pressure) before I was pregnant and was on medications to lower it. I had to switch medications for the pregnancy because the ones before where not prego safe. This meant I had to check my blood pressure daily and that was frustrating with it going up and down.
*I was just starting to feel like a normal pregnant women and gained some weight and was even able to go off of my Blood pressure meds thanks to the weight loss from throwing up and the naturally healthier diet you eat while prego. Then more drama- I was diagnosed Gestational Diabetic. Not just your 'follow this diet and check your sugars every once in awhile diabetic'. This was the 'check your sugars 4+ times daily and self administer insulin 5 times daily'. UGH! This had to be the hardest part of the pregnancy. I was put on the diet and it was so hard. Not because there wasn't much to eat, but if I ate what they told me my blood sugars were still so high I couldn't eat that. I ended up almost starving myself in order to keep my blood sugars down, but that meant I started dumping ketones in my urine (normally a good thing if your loosing weight on a diet but when your pregnant this is bad, the ketones start building up in the baby's brain. NOT COOL). I struggled so much and they kept increasing my insulin. Eventually they were stable until the end of the pregnancy when in the last two weeks my blood sugar would BOTTOM OUT instead of being too high and this led to further issues. UGH!
*Due to the Chronic Hypertension and the Gestational Diabetes I had to have growth scans to check on the size of the baby. ( for reference CH moms tend to have small babies, GD moms have large babies. They didn't know where my kid would be). One Ultrasound showed my baby measuring small in the abdomen. That made me all worried that something ELSE was wrong. UGH! Again UGH!
*Then my doctor left. I cried and cried and cried. Keep in mind I work side by side with all the doctors since I'm their labor and delivery nurse, so I really knew which one I wanted. She Michele was awesome and she totally knew what I wanted out of this pregnancy and was such a HUGE support through everything. Then she transferred jobs at the beginning of July and the doctor I had to switch too wanted nothing to do with me really. He was just mad I didn't start with him from the beginning. I missed Michele through those last couple of apts. But we kept in touch via email and she even called me directly at home to ease my fears regarding blood sugar issues.
*I worked up till the Friday before my due date. I was due Sunday. Sunday July 29th I went into labor naturally- right on my due date. Contractions started to be noticable around 2pm. We left to the hospital with regular contractions at 530pm, got to the hospital at 6pm, and baby was born at 735pm. Very fast. I was suppose to have an Insulin drip for my diabetes and antibiotics because I was GBS+ (another complication of the pregnancy I forgot to mention) but we got none of that since I was going so fast.
*After the birth of my DAUGHTER Tayla Carmen (!!we didn't know the sex so it was so fun!!) I proceeded to have a postpartum hemorrhage. Meaning I was bleeding and bleeding bad. They had to give me 4 different medications to get the bleeding to stop. On top of that, normally with a bleed your Blood pressure goes down, but mine was going up and up. I was starting to make the doctor nervous for a seizure so I got blood pressure meds too and was tested for PreEclampsia. I ended up testing positive for that the next day so I was stuck monitoring my Blood pressure again very frequently.
*I left the hospital an emotional wreck. I think the whole pregnancy was finally crashing down on me emotionally and I could not stop crying those first few days. I ended up with severe PseudoEngorgement and could not breast feed. This only added to my emotional wreckage. I was a basket case and it took me almost 2 weeks to get over it. I think if I had continued this blog I would have had an outlet to let my emotions go during the pregnancy, instead I just bottled them up, determined to do everything perfect for my baby.
But now- I'm at home with my 5 week old daughter. And this could not be any better. I ended up loosing a total of 30lbs from the start of my pregnancy to my 4 week postpartum wt check. Most of my preprego clothes don't fit and I must say, thats a nice problem to have :).
Tayla is for the large majority a very good baby. She doesn't cry often and its easy to figure out what she wants. We really need to work on this whole sleeping at night thing. Once I go back to my 12 hr shifts its going to be rough. If things don't change before then I"m going to get about 3-4 hours of sleep before working 12 hrs. NOT COOL I say. I'm hoping to be able to keep up with this blog a bit more. Share cute Tayla stories.
So to a new beginning- Here is my beautiful daughter...
~Brand New*7#2oz*20"~
~1 week~
~2 weeks~
~3-4weeks~
~5 weeks~
We had some ADORABLY cute 1 month pictures professionally done. Can't wait to share them with you when I get them next week!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Busy Busy
With the move into the new hospital soon, I have been crazy busy at work. Thankfully I have not been sick the last three weeks so that makes it so much easier to deal with. Here's the latest:!
How far along? 18w5d
Total weight gain/loss? still Down 13
Maternity clothes? Yes. the pants just don't work otherwise and most of my tops to function right anymore
Stretch marks? I think i see some new ones.
Sleep? Benadryl is my friend. Like seriously.
Best moment last week? I've been feeling a little movement!
Movement? little butterflies... its awesome
Food cravings? depends on the day.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: soda this week
What I am looking forward to: vacation in three days!!!!!!!
Milestones: finishing the ceiling in the nursery and picking out paint! I think I may have had a kidney stone last night. NOT cool. :(
How far along? 18w5d
Total weight gain/loss? still Down 13
Maternity clothes? Yes. the pants just don't work otherwise and most of my tops to function right anymore
Stretch marks? I think i see some new ones.
Sleep? Benadryl is my friend. Like seriously.
Best moment last week? I've been feeling a little movement!
Movement? little butterflies... its awesome
Food cravings? depends on the day.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: soda this week
What I am looking forward to: vacation in three days!!!!!!!
Milestones: finishing the ceiling in the nursery and picking out paint! I think I may have had a kidney stone last night. NOT cool. :(
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A new countdown
I'm counting down till vacation... cause I need it! Three full weeks people and vacation I'll be... Sweet!
How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Down 13
Maternity clothes? Yes. I can now say I 'look' pregnant. So I'm showing the bump!
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Benadryl is my friend. Like seriously.
Best moment last week? Making plans for the nursery! YEAH!
Movement? Not even a little. So close though!
Food cravings? Fruits and veggies... yumm
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Feeling like I fit in. Its a hard feeling to describe.
What I am looking forward to: vacation in 4 weeks!
Milestones: Probably starting the nursery!
How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Down 13
Maternity clothes? Yes. I can now say I 'look' pregnant. So I'm showing the bump!
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Benadryl is my friend. Like seriously.
Best moment last week? Making plans for the nursery! YEAH!
Movement? Not even a little. So close though!
Food cravings? Fruits and veggies... yumm
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Feeling like I fit in. Its a hard feeling to describe.
What I am looking forward to: vacation in 4 weeks!
Milestones: Probably starting the nursery!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Time flies
Here I am at 14 weeks... Time flies when your having fun....
How far along? 14 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Down 12
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants. They just fit better.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Getting uncomfortable in my sleep.
Best moment last week? Hearing the heart beat on doppler
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early!
Food cravings? I crave no food at all... This is a problem
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Alcohol. Big time.
What I am looking forward to: Another Doc apt this week!
Milestones: Finding out Leah Bemis will be pregnant with me!
How far along? 14 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Down 12
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants. They just fit better.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Getting uncomfortable in my sleep.
Best moment last week? Hearing the heart beat on doppler
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early!
Food cravings? I crave no food at all... This is a problem
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Alcohol. Big time.
What I am looking forward to: Another Doc apt this week!
Milestones: Finding out Leah Bemis will be pregnant with me!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
A moment of pause...
My husband is and identical twin. Travis and Troy. Troy lives next door to us and was going to be marrying Becky later this year. Well for some reason or another Becky decided this life was not for her and after 5 years of being together packed up her shit and got out.
Now when can I throw the party.
:)
Me and Becky have never seen eye to eye so this just makes me happy. BUT- Watching Troy suffer makes my heart ache.
It gave me a moment of pause this week after all of this happened. Why would someone do that? Could I do that to Travis? What is a person to do with their life at this point? ...........
Either way.
I'm officially entering my second Trimester soon. We have decided on one name for sure. Gunner Ryan Shrader for a boy. I'm leaning towards Rylan Carmen Shrader for a girl. I just got to convince Travis of a girl name. LOL
O Time for an updated survey I guess..
How far along? 12 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss? Down 9lbs. But my belly is starting to stick out more.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants. They just fit better.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Getting uncomfortable in my sleep.
Best moment last week? Becky moving out? No seriously I think it would have to be starting to see a belly.
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early!
Food cravings? Citrus. Esp Grapefruit.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Mt dew this week.
What I am looking forward to: Starting to show more and more.
Milestones: Meeting with my Leah Bemis!
Now when can I throw the party.
:)
Me and Becky have never seen eye to eye so this just makes me happy. BUT- Watching Troy suffer makes my heart ache.
It gave me a moment of pause this week after all of this happened. Why would someone do that? Could I do that to Travis? What is a person to do with their life at this point? ...........
Either way.
I'm officially entering my second Trimester soon. We have decided on one name for sure. Gunner Ryan Shrader for a boy. I'm leaning towards Rylan Carmen Shrader for a girl. I just got to convince Travis of a girl name. LOL
O Time for an updated survey I guess..
How far along? 12 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss? Down 9lbs. But my belly is starting to stick out more.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants. They just fit better.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? Getting uncomfortable in my sleep.
Best moment last week? Becky moving out? No seriously I think it would have to be starting to see a belly.
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early!
Food cravings? Citrus. Esp Grapefruit.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Mt dew this week.
What I am looking forward to: Starting to show more and more.
Milestones: Meeting with my Leah Bemis!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Survey Time
How far along? 10 weeks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss? Down 8lbs. I don't think this is a good thing :/
Maternity clothes? Occasionally a pair of pants when I'm feeling lazy. I'm not even convinced this particular pants will even work when I have a belly but we'll see.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? I'm having to take Benadryl to stay asleep at night. Last night was my first day with out it!
Best moment last week? I got to have another ultrasound. awesome. But I found out from my doc that I'm going to have MANY ultrasounds due to my High Blood Pressure.
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early! But I did see it swimming like crazy in there on the US.
Food cravings? Citrus. Esp Grapefruit.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Yesterday I truely missed a good margarita.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the first trimester!
Milestones: Had my first OB apt with my doc. It was nice even though I work with her everyday.
Total weight gain/loss? Down 8lbs. I don't think this is a good thing :/
Maternity clothes? Occasionally a pair of pants when I'm feeling lazy. I'm not even convinced this particular pants will even work when I have a belly but we'll see.
Stretch marks? Lol, just the ones from me being overweight to begin with
Sleep? I'm having to take Benadryl to stay asleep at night. Last night was my first day with out it!
Best moment last week? I got to have another ultrasound. awesome. But I found out from my doc that I'm going to have MANY ultrasounds due to my High Blood Pressure.
Movement? Not even a little. Way to early! But I did see it swimming like crazy in there on the US.
Food cravings? Citrus. Esp Grapefruit.
Gender? No clue, and I hope to not find out till delivery
Labor signs? No way... Not this soon I hope
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: Yesterday I truely missed a good margarita.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the first trimester!
Milestones: Had my first OB apt with my doc. It was nice even though I work with her everyday.
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