Reliving My Delivery

I've worked in Labor and Delivery/Postpartum Mom/baby care for over 2 years now. One thing I always thought about was 'is this what my labor will be like?', "what will my baby look like?", or "why would someone do that?" lol.

Now that I have experienced a pregnancy and a delivery I can look back and try to place myself in some category of women. I've been thinking a lot about my labor and delivery. The highs and lows.But honestly. The biggest thing I'm trying to remember is the things I can't.

I was at home when my labor started. It was right on my due date. As most Labor nurses would tell you, women rarely go into spontanous delivery on their due dates. Hence why I wasn't quite convinced I was in labor right away. I had a few random but slightly uncomfotable contractions in the morning. Nothing really unlike what I had been having for weeks. These felt more like period cramps more than anything. I've had many of mothers describe early contractions this way so I was hopeful for progress. I went for a long walk with the dog around 11 am hoping to kick things in. The contractions didn't change but I got tired and gave up and came home.

When I got home I informed my still sleeping husband that we should eat lunch and then I was going to nap in case I did go into labor that day. He asked if we wanted to go to the local bar for lunch ( a common practice on sat or sun lunches at our house). I told him no, I didn't want to go into labor at the bar. He opted to go get take out from there and bring it home. I ate around 1pm. I headed upstairs to try and rest while contractions came about a couple an hour.

I no more than laid down and they seemed to pick up. Within twenty minutes Travis came up to me and checked on me. I told him they were about 15 min apart. When we were talking they continued to pick up more. I think at this point they were 10-15 when he left. I was alone for about 10 min and the intensity seemed to triple. Being the good ole labor nurse I was now on a mission to prove this was real labor over false labor. I chugged a bottle of water (ruling out dehydration) and jumped in the shower (real contractions stay under the warm relaxation, fake ones normally go away). I kept checking my blood sugars and they seemed to be bottoming out. I hit as low as 44 at one point. Over 70 is important.

During the shower was when I realized this was probably the real thing. They were coming more and more consistantly by this point. I think this was around 330-400ish in the afternoon. Travis became on a mission to get things ready so he was packing the truck, double checking bags, etc. He kept suggesting I go in but I was determined to labor until I was truely uncomfortable at home. I knew I needed time for the insulin drip at the hospital but since my Blood sugars were so low they were not going to hook me up anyways, I might as well stay home. I let my Doula know what was going on but told her I didn't need her quite yet.

One thing looking back I was thankful for was the free Contraction Timer app on my android phone. It sure made things easier. My contractions were 2-5 min apart starting at 430. I was breathing easily through them. As we approached 500 Travis was begging me to go to the hospital "just to be checked over". I kept telling him "I see women labor all the time, I know I'm very early in labor. See I can still talk to you easily." He went out to smoke but took the baby monitor with him(so he could hear me through the contractions). I no more than got through 2 contractions and he was running back in. They were getting worse. And the worst part- I was getting SOOOOOO nauseated. This made me very nervous. During an average labor and delivery a women will commonly feel nauseated or throw up around 7 cm during transition. I freaked out that I was at home and potentially 7cm. So we packed up the rest and headed to the hospital at 530 that evening. I would say that at this point I've been in labor about 3 hours.

We arrived at 6pm to the hospital and to the unit I work on. It was interesting to 'go to work' to have a baby. LOL. One of my favorite co workers Amy was there and was going to be my nurse. She got me checked in and assessed and come to find out I was only 3-4cm. But the nausea was unbearable. I kept telling her I was going to throw up. Three contractions at the hospital and I did just that. Threw up all that good lunch I had. Ugh. She hurriedly got my IV in place and was giving me Phenergan to aleviate the nausea and vomiting. If anyone knows anything about Phenergan its that it can make you very 'loopy' and "sleepy'.

This is where is gets tough and makes me sad. I was so affected by the medications that I do not remember much. It didn't help that it happened so fast but I'm still putting the pieces together. My doula showed up minutes after I was given the medication. They were trying to place the second IV line (I need two cause of my insulin drip) and they were struggling with it. I remember the contractions getting strong at this point. I remember laying down on my left side and sleeping in between the contractions and screaming when they came. I remember the Pencillin for my GBS stinging like crazy in my right hand IV. I remember all of a sudden feeling pressure and her checking me and telling me that I was 6-7 cm but I was screaming that I was having a contraction so she decided to wait until that one was over to double check. Turns out now I'm 8 cm. She ran out of the room to call the doctor. At this point its only been about 40 min and I've gone from 3-4cm to 8cm. Way faster than your normal first time mom. Amy came back in the room and started setting up for the delivery. All of a sudden I screamed I had to push and was bearing down lightly. She checked me and I was complete. She ran from the room to go get the doctor. Luckily the doctor had come to the hospital because another patient was nearing completion so she was there. She came back with Amy my nurse.

I remember the Doctor asking if my water had broke and them deciding they were going to break it. I remember thinking that there was no reason for that (not sure why) and gave it a hard push and felt it break just as the Doctor was gloving up to break it. I remember my doula saying 'o-nevermind-its broke.' I then started the real pushing. What I remember most about this was the two voices in my head. Seriously. I was too weak, thanks to the Phenergan, to put my own legs up so I had my Husband and my Doula doing that for me. But what was weird was the fact that I would do things like arch my back while pushing. One voice in my head would say "you idiot you know thats not how you are suppose to push, that narrows your pelvis!!" and another voice that would say "I don't care I want to push this way". It was messed up let me tell ya.The second thing I remember most about pushing was the constant conversation about how much hair my baby had. My Husband was desperately telling me I should use the mirror to see all the hair. I kept informing him the hair would be there when it came out and I did not need to see it now. LOL.

After only 20 min of pushing(very little for a first timer) we had a baby girl. When she came out I remember having the hardest time keeping my eyes open and on her. My bottom hurt so bad. I had tore and that was causing discomfort. As much as I wanted to continue skin to skin I was too sleepy and in too much pain to hold on to her so I told my husband to go with the baby nurse and get her measured and cleaned up and stuff.

At this point Amy and my doctor realize how bad I'm bleeding. From here I forgot so much. I remember constant conversation about my bleeding. I remember Amy giving me fundal massage (rubbing the uterus-VERY uncomfortable) a lot to get it to stop. I remember hearing the discussion of what medications to use to get the bleeding to stop. This took place over an hour and it feels like just minutes to me. I was so in and out of it thanks to the medications and the blood loss. I don't even remember them talking about my blood pressure being high or having the phlebotomists come in to draw more blood. At the two hour post delivery I remember it was time for me to get in the shower and I commented on how I was bummed how I hadn't gotten to breast feed yet. But I was so out of it I couldn't do it. So my baby nurse held the baby while the doula held my boob and they tried to feed her. It was weird but totally made me feel better. I then tried to get into the shower but was unable to hardly function so my doula washed my hair for me and then helped clean me up.

I don't remember going back to bed. I know at some point before my shower we called our parents but I don't remember the conversation. All of a sudden it was 11pm and I felt like I had just woken up from sleeping all night. It was like all the fog was lifted and I could function normally again. I kept trying to remember the last couple hours and couldn't so the nurses where trying to fill me in with the help of Travis.

Looking back at my labor experience- I'm excited to say I did it all natural- no pain meds other than the nausea medication. I'm happy to say it was quick and overall easy. But it makes me so so so sad that I felt those three hours were wasted with me not having any memory. I didn't even focus on my daughter till 11pm! I didn't like that feeling. Next time- I don't care what hospital order sets say. I'm going with the Zofran instead of the Phenergan!!!

And after spending 3 months instituting an insulin drip policy so that I would be able to deliver at my own hospital I never even needed the drip!! LOVE IT!!

And thats all I can remember from that day. More to come on my postpartum days 1 and 2 later.